I don't want to take Harry to a playgroup at the park today. I don't feel well. I'm tired. I don't want to have to walk the tightrope between letting Harry have fun and making sure he doesn't get hurt, and the tightrope between being his advocate and not making excuses, and the tightrope between being social with the other parents and keeping an eye on Harry. I don't want him to fall asleep on the ride home because I need him to sleep here so I can work.
But mostly I don't want to go because my hair looks bad and I haven't put on any make up and I have only one pair of jeans and they don't fit well and I hate all my shoes. I don't want to go meet a bunch of new people looking like crap.
I have only recently been pushing myself to get out there and make friends, and I'm not ready to have to do it for someone else, too. And since my personal efforts haven't been remarkable, I'm not so excited to try on Harry's behalf.
If things go very well (or very badly), I will let you know.
10 months ago